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View Full Version : Developer,New Employee Conversation


Sigarr
06-22-2005, 11:00 AM
Boss: Welcome to POS Developers Joe,glad to have you aboard.

Joe: Glad to Be here Sir.

Boss: These are Hard Times for us small Indepent Developers of cRPG Games,joe. The Big,First-Rate Publishers are more interested in MMORPGS and Console Games,so it has become increasingly Difficult to Secure a First-Rate Publisher. As a Small Independent We have very Limited Assets and eventually have to rely on a Publisher to Fund our Project. Unfortunately, the only Publishers available to us always insist on Releasing the Product Before it is Finished.....

Joe: Sorry to interrupt Sir,but You Mean like Dung Lard,that We Just Released?
Boss: Exactly,Joe.

Joe: But Why Sir? Won't that mean We will Lose Money and make a whole lot of Gamers Very unhappy?

Boss: Yes and no,Joe. True,We Won't make as much Money as we would had we gotten the Proper Funding to Complete the Game but there is more to it than just that. This is where Your Indoctrination as our New PR Man begins.

Joe: I am all Ears,Sir.

Boss: First,the Gaming Industry discovered Long Ago that the Gaming Community was Comprised of Two Sets of Gamers--the First is a large Segement,Who,shall we say only have Half their "Marbles"? Figuratively Speaking,of course! This Segment is our "Core" Target because they will be Happy as long as there are enough Elements in the Release to Keep them Occupied. It is the Second Segement that is our Concern. This is the "Hard-Core" Gamer who expects the Game to be a Completely Finished Product When they Purchase it. It is from this Segment that all the Complaining, Bitching and "Bad-Mouthing" of the Game will come From. These are the People who will be your Prime Segment to "Focus" upon. A little "Tidbit" here,a little Promise there and a "Bone" or so every now and then usually Keeps them from Going Ballistic and Keep them hanging Around For Awhile.

Joe: Kinda Like George Orwells 1984--"DoubleSpeak" Sir?

Boss: Something like that,Joe but More "Refined". Over the past 2 Decades The Politicians Have Developed that Old "DoubleSpeak" into an Art form.

Joe: I understand Sir, you Mean "Skid-Talking".

Boss: Aptly Put. You are Quick of Wit and pick up on the Gist of the matter very Quickly,Joe. You will go far in this Organization.Just Remember,Joe,You won't Have to "Placate" them Forever-just long enough to where we can make a Little Money from Sales,at least enough to "Break-Even"! Now Get out there and DO YOUR STUFF!

Joe: YES SIR! You can Rely on Me Sir. I will get on it PRONTO!

darktau
06-22-2005, 09:19 PM
It is so sad how true this is.

EmilyH
06-23-2005, 09:35 PM
LOL. Or how about this:

Interviewer: So, I hear you like challenges.

Interviewee: Yes, definitely. *Goes off into well-practiced spiel of how much he/she enjoys challenging jobs.*

Interviewer: *Politely nods.* What would you say if I said that this job would be the ultimate challenge?

Interviewee: *Looks a bit skeptical* Ultimate challenge, Sir?

Interviewer: Yeah. How good are you at public relations? You see, we just released this game, and uh, the public seems to be getting mad at us. We keep telling them to wait for the next patch, and it worked for the first week or so, but now they're not buying it anymore. What would you do in a situation like that?

Interviewee: *Frantically eyes the door* Pardon me, but I just remembered that I scheduled a dentist appointment for um... *checks watch* right now.

Interviewer: Sorry to hear that. Would you like to reschedule?

Interviewee: No, not really. *Gets up and leaves*

Reguile
06-24-2005, 03:35 AM
*ponders* you ruined it... go kill yourself.... you choked a good thread... and shredded it to..shreds...